Thursday, December 29, 2016

2016: Die In A Fire

Contrary to my last post, maybe I did forget about this thing.

This blog has always been a labor of love, and it's always worked best when I've had something to work on or write about that I can share with the masses; Jedi Rules for Edge of the Empire when we had none, development of characters or campaigns that I was able to share publicly, and the occasional work on costuming. I haven't had a lot of that lately. I haven't been inspired to do work on any new rules. Most of the few gaming projects I'm working on are either GM-only story ideas or locked down under an NDA (which is kinda exciting, in a sort of way). I've also been trying to refocus on several neglected areas in my life socially, which as a geeky introvert is hard.

And then there's this dumpster fire that's been 2016.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a moody guy; empathic and empathetic to the feelings and moods of those around me. I tend to feed off them, and in some cases feed into them. When I'm in a good mood, I am excited and can share that energy with others. When I'm grumpy and down, I share that snark with others. These two moods tend to start cycles and spirals that can lead to creative enlightenment or long periods where I have no energy or desire to enjoy anything.

2016 has tended towards the latter mood. So many artistic heroes of mine have passed away. So many looming threats on the horizon. So many spectres of fear and despair caused by the events surrounding the election. Nevermind the personal difficulties and challenges I've faced privately which have fed into my outlook for the year.

I suppose there's nothing left for it than to try to reverse course and try to foster some good in life. I can sit here and continue to bash my head against the keyboard and hope something interesting falls out for me to type, or I can effect change in my life and climb out of the emotional pit I've been in. There are going to be things in the news that aggravate me, or depress me. I've got to look at all of those situations and think "Okay, what can I do about it?" and either do something to better that situation or realize that I can't do anything to "fix" it and try not to let it weigh on me. This isn't the same as procrastination or ambivalence; if there's something I can do that requires work or effort, I should do it. I can't fix the US Government, but I can support those who have to means to try. I can't stop my artistic heroes from dying, but I can remember and honor them by continuing to create art. I can't give my wife everything I want to, but I can give her everything I am able.

So what will come of this blog?  Will anything come of Trinary? What's next for my Star Wars RPGs? What am I working on for GamerNationCon? Will I get that First Order Snowtrooper done for me and my father in time to wear it next December? Am I going to GenCon 50?

The first question, I'm not going to answer. I'm tired of not meeting my promises; so I'm going to under-promise and work to over-perform.

As far as the rest of those questions; we'll see.

See you sometime next year.